Almost 20 years ago I was a wreck. I smoked, had an eating disorder, was married to a man who I’m pretty sure thought I had the words sparring partner on my face since most of the time I was more of a punching bag then a wife and I had a perfect little girl that I was too much of a mess to fully appreciate. I had no self esteem, no self worth and quite frankly I treated myself worse than anyone (including said crazy ex husband) could have possibly treated me. By the way, I also couldn’t touch my toes. One day a friend of mine gave me a 20 minute basic yoga VCR tape (yea yea I'm THAT old let it go let’s move on) and said “do this I think it will help”. I told her she was nuts. That there was no way in hell this weird dude telling me to breath and stretch was going to change my life. As besties who love you will often do, she persisted and finally (while rolling my eyes of course) I agreed to try it for like a week, maybe.
Despite my intense resistance to yoga and all it had to offer something happened. Magic happened. YOGA happened. I couldn’t stop. I craved it from both my body and a place in my soul that I hadn’t even known existed. I cannot explain it in words that will do it justice except to tell you that I discovered very quickly that yoga will change you with or without your permission. And when that change happens, you will feel like you are home.
I know this because it did for me. BIG time. Within 6 months of starting my practice I looked better, I felt better, I really began to feel self love and I knew I was worth and deserving of so much more. I felt empowered, strong in spirit and closer to being my authentic self.(I hadn't even known I HAD one of those it was buried so deep under inauthentic sh!t!) As a result I took my little girl and got the hell outta there. (oh and yeah by then I could touch my toes too) There is no doubt in my mind that yoga saved my life in more ways than I even realized needed saving and it continues to transform me in the best way possible everyday. Since my discovery of this beautiful practice I have done all I can to share its' gift with as many people as possible.
I know now I was the way I was because my soul was screaming. As I child I knew I had gifts and a desire to grow towards spirit, light and love. To move differently, think differently and mend other souls. My intuitive nature and ability to Reiki were in full force by age 3. What was missing was the validation any child desires to say YES! THIS IS REAL! BE THIS PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO BE! Instead I was met with resistance and scorn from those in charge of my care...told I was being silly, ridiculous and fake. So I did what any child would do and I pushed my gifts down into the darkest place inside of myself I could find. I would chastise myself when they tried to creep out reminding myself I would not be accepted or loved if they did. Thank the Source they were stronger than I was. Yoga was the first crack in the mold and my inner light began to shine. A few years later the universe would gift me my Mata, my Reiki Master who would love me and guide me in using my gifts for the most beautiful reviving to any soul the universe brings to my landscape.
You're next my friend :) Now I’m not saying your life needs saving. Or even that you need some dramatic overhaul. But you’re here still reading ; you’ve almost made it to the end of the page, so I’m gonna take a leap of faith and say you’re seeking something different from where you are now. I KNOW in every fiber of my being that yoga and reiki will help you find it.